Turning my back away

Why is it that you don't choose someone just because they don't let themselves shine so often. You know, you might just lose some hidden talent because of this. That's why you should approach people individually sometimes and observe(?) them more. Ish!

Oh God. What I've been dreading the most came true. >< Why Why Why? And no, this is not about myself. Sighs, there better be good reason behind this decision. This concerns the future of the whole......board.

And about myself, I have no idea ==" what to think.

Now I know why you said that, Wen. Fui...

Injustice.

What's left unsaid...

I am confused. Really doubtful and still worrying.

What was it I wanted again?

I know the main priority is always the good of the place. It always will be.

If so, then is my decision correct? Am I really suited for this position? Do I fit the criteria? Am I ready? Aren't there people better than me?Yes, my stand has been wavering long since. But I still aimed for the moon, I still let that arrow fly..

I guess I should feel now what it's like when no one around you is giving their support. When the whole world shuns you, when they ignore you, what should you do? I mean, no one believes in me. So should I believe in myself?

Believing in myself would just make me seem like I'm overestimating myself, believing in the worse just shows how pessimistic I am. Then should I just stop believing?

All the odds really are against me in this battle, yet I still go on. I may be fighting a losing battle but I shouldwill persist.

Why am I doing this?

A quote I found on Louise's blog=D:

Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?'

Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?'

Vanity asks the question, 'Is it popular?'

But, conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?'

And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right.”

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Because I care.

Still, I will expect the worse.

Another thing, I can't wear a mask at all. I never will be able to win this game called "Life" if I just continue being this naive. But well, I don't want to join this masquerade. I still believe in sincerity.

* I should have more things to say, cannot think of this at the moment.

It's still confidential

I am..left in doubt.

I don't know what to think now.

Aikz...

But what's most important is the good of the place.Period. No matter what.

That is what I think, right?

I feel like skipping August ><.


* AEOM was really...mesmerizing? =D Music is so soothing.

I didn't get interviewed yet!

So I have to be worried for another day.

But then, I'll probably be worried all the way to AGM anyway==.

Soar to Greater Heights

Well, this is it.

The interview's tomorrow(and Saturday).

And, I feel. extremely. worried.

I had all those dreams, fantasies about what it would be like if I took over. But, that's all they are, fantasies. Reality had to smack me in the face and remind how out of the league I was. ><
Is it hopeless?

You would probably be upset over me being fui ba?AS you always did reprimand me about my low self esteem.

Actually this post is about You. Curious? ;)

What you say always did had an influence on me, ever since you left that comment in April last year. I'm sorry I never saw it earlier but only after the event happened == but it helped. Really.I felt so moved and surprised lol to find out that someone actually cared about my predicament. When I want to revisit the past of last year or just get my morale boosted, I would reread it. I just did. Not too long ago. I remember you said to relish the sense of satisfaction you get after completing a heavy burden, knowing your hardwork paid off. And with that folio(!)
>< I have to face now, that phrase seems like a very good motivator. ^^"

And, after rereading that comment, I felt so disappointed with myself. What you had expected of me last year did not come true.

Show my confidence? I don't think so

Unleash my potential? Uh-uh

Do things without being told? Nope

Conclusion: == Sighs, I have failed. And what happened April THIS year would prove that.

Anyway, I guess some time later after realising it was you who wrote the comment, I held you in high regard.

I mean, I would want to inspire people too. I wished you did have been like that while you were in office (well, there's still some time). Maybe you did touch lives but subtley and individually. I can't say I totally agree with how you did things this year but some things never change I guess. If I ever had the chance, I would do things differently. I just wonder, if you had been like the way you were when giving comments in handling situations, would the outcome be different?

Just hang in there, it's almost over. Not all daggers are pointed at you. But I guess, I may never understand your situation.

Despite your round being full of ups and downs, I still respect you. Cheers to you. *Salutes*

The true intention of this post: Thank You.
Whether it was sympathy, your duty or true consideration that made you do it, thank you. =)

I guess I have to face the music tomorrow. I honestly cannot say I will still continue serving whole-heartedly despite not getting what I want, as I too, am human. Humans have some degree of greed in them always. But I know where my commitment lies and I shall not betray it.

I pray for calm in this stormy weather.

P.S I have no idea whether you'll see it because I do not know how frequently you visit this place. But still, I write.=)

Stop, Look, Laugh out Loud

Overdue post about Bon Odori here.

First off, we shall start off from the morning of last Saturday, which was guide activity lo.

o.O we actually jog RAN 2 times around the school that day. That was.... surprising.

Then, we broke off into patrols to discuss mini gadgets for the competition. There was supposed to be that wetland trip...but due to some circumstances, it got scrapped. So, stay in school. And my adorable twin, who probably hadn't gotten over the euphoria of becoming LKT president (nah, actually they couldn't contact her), came to school for only one frigging hour==to attend the NG post-mortem then left her 2 form 1 members to fend for themselves=.=".

Me and Marissa, who got placed in that patrol discussed about the mini-gadgets and what to do for the outdoor cooking. With spare time to kill, I taught Gurpreet and Bo Fang(though I have a feeling my effors will have been fruitless X/)

Last, marching, which did not turn out so good ==

Now, Bon Odori =D

Skipped tuition and reached school about 4.45. Saw Yong JIa and talked with her a while. Then, there was the dilemma about whether to wear school shirts or casual.

After a very long wait, we departed.

Let's jsut summarize the things I want to say:
1)the organizes were really punctual! Everything went pretty much according to schedule, though the only events were dance perforamances==

2)you will spend a lot there>< I spent Rm 15 on a piece of cloth

The stage

The sushi king conveyer belt

Drum performance

People dancing along with the performers

Dancers with kimonos

Taken among the crowd while doing the dance



Me and Rachael's yo yo balloons==

Unagi,which Rachael commented was slimy==

=D

Guess who? =D

Fast forward to today-(wed)

Received gift from Shan En( I still owe her and Le Yi ><)

Bought books!! Finally found book 4 of the percy jackson series! =D

Ordered a little something at the PBM booth

And the rest~ Forgotten

Said silly things and probably disappointed someone by not handing in a certain massive folio XD

Still awaiting my gifts from 2 people who both told me not to expect too much =="

Also waiting for Redbox IOI to open already!! My birthday re-celebration><

I've got my rock moves and I don't need YOU!!

Wow, my 2 blog posts recently have all been pretty frank.

Just say what you feel right?

But of course, not everything was let out in the open =D

By the way, the last post was the 200th one. XD

And I need to recompose myself. Can't let what happened on the 12th bring me down. Though I want a re-celebration with Wen and Seng Yew. Even Seng Yew was like" Zhi Min's birthday went by like this only ah?"

I will not take blame for the screw-up on Sunday though. I blame YOU.