Crossroads

Such a dilemma now =(...Sigh...

Oh god, I must be the only JPA scholar here who isn't happy with what they got. And comparing it with the rest of my peers who applied for Medicine, it really is quite good.

But accepting it means leaving behind the people I've been with for the past 5 months now. The PRE-MADDEST bunch of people who balance studies and pranks all so flawlessly! I'll be leaving the food, the people, the environment, lame jokes, weird jokes, dirty jokes, pranks, awesome teachers, awesome people for money. Why why is it always about money T. T

And what's more, a part of me says I should stay. Because accepting the offer would mean I might never know whether I could have achieved further.

Morning breeze

I wasn't really one for change. So much that some things I were looking forward to have also slowly been adopted as routine. Back last year, I was really eager to get college started because one always was curious about new things. But now, high school life seems so much more welcoming. Despite how awesome college is now(especially the people), there are some things from high school it never could replaced. Either that, or there is still some part of me yearning to cling on to anything that holds memories of high school or any proof that it happened.

Being not one for change, I don't only mean it for parts of life but for people as well. I have this intolerance towards fickle-minded people. The constant changing of minds proves to be quite annoying, especially at the expense of other people.It's just irksome if one's decision is constantly altered until you dunno what they want anymore >=( .That's why I at least try to stick to decisions once made.

Though it's inevitable to encounter such cases, one just has to go with the flow. I just got to remind myself that they are the ones who control their own life.

Into the Fire

So, since I don't feel like repeating myself anymore and people have requested for this, I shall write a post on my JPA interview =).

(though of course this is MY interview and what occurs to me might not happen to you).

So, I arrived at the venue at about 7.05am. Surprisingly, there were already a number of parents and applicants waiting there. So, at around 7.30am, people started flooding in. And some of the JPA workers arrived to stick the name lists on the board. We are required to locate our names on the board and sign. Applicants are divided into groups of five for different "panels" which I guess refers to your panel of interviewers. Mine was Panel 3 FYI. The interviewers soon arrived as well and headed up first. Oh, speaking of the location. You will be required to wait downstairs in a courtyard. The board with the name list of applicants will be located in the middle of the courtyard. All interviews will be done upstairs.

Once my panel was called, we headed up to the waiting room. There, we are required to hand in our clear folders and photocopied documents. Each panel is assigned a counter. You will be handed a name tag with a number on so pin it on la. The people behind the counter will begin work by sorting out the docs and arranging them. So, this is the time where you can interact with your group mates. Mine were quite friendly and we managed to talked about some trivial stuff. Other groups waiting were all so stiff o.0.

Then, our turn came. We lined up according to number and headed to the interview room. My panel of interviewers consisted of three Malay guys who looked vaguely familiar for some reason. They seemed pretty friendly. First thing the guy in the middle said was to relax as we were the first batch and also to ask whether we had breakfast yet haha.

Ok, we started off with introductions. Since the panel asked this in BM, we had to answer in BM. And by introductions, they actually wanted more than just a simple introduction. We included family info (parents' career, siblings),hobbies and also a bit about our ambitions. And once one of us was done with the intro, they would question us(still in BM) regarding what we said during the introduction. So, I guess you should make sure you say valid things! Well, for mine, hmm.. I mentioned both my parents were working in account-related fields, so they asked why I didn't choose to be an accountant as well, which led me explaining why I wanted to be a doctor. And also a bit about Guiding, as I touched that and the charity work I have done. (thinking back, I think I was asked the least questions o.0). And I guess it's ok to inject some english words if you can't think of their BM counterparts in time, just don't say full english sentences. One guy got told off for doing so.

Next off, was very random. (In BM). The interviewer asked me to name the other 4 applicants, which I could btw. And for another applicant, he asked her to say out the hobbies the rest of us had mentioned during our intros.

After that, the interviewer (this time in English) asked us to each say a strength of ours and how it would help us in our career. So, I think I expressed this answer more fluently =D. And then, surprise...the end to our interview o.0.

We then returned to the waiting room to collect our stuff. Oh, you needn't bring so much stuff la. Because we were told to just leave everything in the waiting room =. =. And if you have Foreign Language Proficiency certs, do make a certified copy. They might come in handy =).

Me and my group mates exchanged contact details and that it's free to go.

SC008

It's just not the same being with people from different part of your lives.

Recent situations have justified that.

It may be that I have grown too accustomed to the speech and lifestyles of my classmates that it seemed unfamiliar sitting among 4 other people speaking in Mandarin while as of recent times, jokes, crap and most conversations were done in English with current classmates. True, I think there is also the reason that I was never good with handling group conversations,I seem to be restricted to conveying my messages to only one person at a time. (which is not a very favourable trait if I am facing a panel of three interviewers on Tuesday.) So, in the end much conversation wasn't carried out and that turned into a missed opportunity to interact with more people. D=

Though, granted, conversations with some people never turn into awkward moments. And it seems that, for me anyway, no matter how long we've talked for that one day to catch up. There's still a lot that hadn't the chance to be said. I mean, being in different colleges and all now, there's already a part of our lives that each of us will never be part of and will never truly understand. Thinking about it, when I got home, I realised Hue Ching was right. We should have appreciated the time we had to meet up yesterday and talked more. Because who knows when we will ever have the chance again. And social media doesn't compensate for a real conversation face-to-face.

And no matter how interesting and wonderful college will turn out to be, this little part of me inside will never let go of high school because that's where a lot of things started off for me. College will never be the same. People aren't the same (and most of my more intimate friends have conveniently left for different colleges),teachers aren't the same, rules and system not the same...Any opportunity to return to CHS and ultimately to meet my friends cannot be passed up. Even if it means sacrificing a Monthly Meeting =/.

Yesterday, was eventful. In both a good and bad way. Who knows whether days like that will happen again in the near future. I even had to add a (?) behind the soon in " see you soon" while texting friends yesterday. Indication of how our lives hardly converge anymore. Next time, maybe it would have been even better if we really just sat down at a store outside school and talked about old and new times. I will anticipate that day.

Hope to meet all of you soon. (?)

Get Out There!

I realised one thing. I never blogged about my weekend down at Johor volunteering nor for my weekend at Raleigh's IW.

Well, IW has some secrecy policies so there isn't much I can disclosed about it. If you wanna know, come for it! There's one being held in May I think X).

And as for Johor, woah, that was a day spent pretty well. Even though it wasn't the kind of volunteering I expected (as they did say flood relief), it was soul-satisfying nonetheless =). Visiting three different kinds of homes in a day can be quite eye-opening. And it is pretty heart-breaking to see the conditions they live in, this especially goes for the old folks' home =( .

Hopefully if I go back down to Johor one day, I can locate and visit those places again. Then, maybe I can do more than just accompany them for a chat.

Aftermath

My SPM results are very easy to memorise:

Everything except Chinese (10 of them) : A+

Chinese: A-

X)

Truth be told, I hadn't expected that kind of result at all o.0. And I am still wondering as to how some things turned out the way they should be.

But yesterday was still a good day. Met old friends in CHS. The place hasn't changed much at all. Still the same cars parked in the same spots, same classrooms, same atmosphere. I miss the place =( . And despite the main reason coming back yesterday(Results), I really wanted to meet everyone again. College has been well and all, but it sure felt well to see so many CHS-ians gathered together again.

And I really am thankful to all teacher, friends and family for this. =) Our class is awesome! Top-scorers of the year. Celebrations are in order!

Oreo Ice-Cream

My friends from the have been commenting on how inactive this blog has become. Now we can't let that happen,can we? So ok, I am going to rant. Or vent or just ponder...

College hasn't been too awesome, it hasn't been too lousy either. I think I'm just being upset over all the wrong reasons, or at least the slightly less significant issues. Though they do mean a stab in my ego, a very very deep one o.0

First, I have a feeling that some inner forces are at work here to try (and succeed) in shunning me from ECA activities. Well, maybe not shun completely but my luck in trying to run for posts is at zero. So, the ECA bodies must be conspiring to prevent me for infiltrating their system too deeply. And somehow, this applies for my class too. At least, from what I have heard, not all results are known yet =/ Yes, this is one of the main reasons for my dissatisfaction. Seems shallow but this will bring up my inferiority complex again =0 A year in Form 5 where you were deemed "amazing' does this to you. Grr... This must be godsend that I go lend my interests elsewhere. Pfft...

And stepping out of CHS reveals to you how little you still are. Even academically I am average and that's just in my class. What about when compared to all of the PMs in TCSJ =o!

I wonder if I'm genuinely worried about this because of how it may affect university offers next time, or that I'm just arrogant.

If the first 5 months were like the 5 years in high school........hopefully April and May be more hopeful.

Edit: College still rocks cause of the class. Awesome people =) And CALEB makes things look hopeful too ^^