Long Road to Ruin

Today would have been the second time that I participated in the KL marathon (also still 10km). Yet, somehow this year's experience struck to me as a more wholesome and contented one compared to that of last year.

Nevertheless, these good vibes did not come without some initial bad sentiments. For one thing, as I type this, my lower body aches all over, especially my right pelvic area, merely rising my leg sends a surge of pain coming. Anyway, now I think I understand what Chen Haw meant by how the hardest path is getting yourself onto the starting line. Since I had practically zero training(except for a pathetic jog once around the housing area), I was pretty worried about still going on for this marathon. Having no prior training was a main worry and as well as wondering whether doing this would have just wasted my Sunday morning. Fortunately, I did get out of bed, reluctantly.

Instead of joining this with my friends like last year, this year I went with my aunt and brothers. Me and the older of the my two younger brothers were to run the 10km track while aunt and other brother did 5km. With my brother running with me, I was temporarily relieved, knowing that I had someone with me in case I couldn't take it. But as expected, he got ahead and I was left alone amongst a sea of strangers. Ironic yes?

With that, the beginning of my marathon was plagued by flitting thoughts of despair and fear. For I fear that with the lack of training, my stamina wouldn't be up to par. After what seemed like miles of running, one was shocked that the marker only indicated that this was the 1st km covered. But what could you do, back and forth you only see road, so I ran on.

My pace was admittedly inconsistent. I walked for most distances, allowing myself to sprint every now and then to not be left behind too much. When I came across the 5km,at least I knew I only had halfway left.

But one thing about being in this alone, I needn't worry about how far ahead the rest where. I had already expected my brother to be ahead. I could go along my own pace as long as it wasn't too slow. But judging from what I overheard from other participants, hopefully my time equals that of my previous run. One's mind was also cleared from other worries momentarily as the main focus was on the road and finishing. After every KM marker, I hope to be able to see the next one soon and for everyone in front of me, I hoped to catch up. I got to get some real exercise after months of static studying and lazing. It was just nice to be one the road and to observe the things around you.

After reaching the finish line, it really was a tremendous relief and the physical burden you held back finally takes its toll on you. I seemed more contented with what I achieved this time compared to the last.Though my time could be worse(can't check the results), but I guess I know why people enjoy marathons so much now. The feeling you get after challenging your limits and yourself, is just. Satisfying.

What more was the congratulations from friends, including some who ran 21km. What is my mere 10km compared to their half-marathon? And yet, they still commented me on a good job. Thank you =).

Now with this spark lit, hopefully a half-marathon or even full marathon(if Raleigh fundraising sees the need =0) will be in my capability.

Gone now. Be at peace at last =)

Hold On

They say that life is full of little miracles, the fact that one is able to wake up alive and well everyday is one of them. But, what if waking up everyday, still (barely) alive, with the thought that you would have to continue suffering in this world. What would you think of your life then?

Everyday now, I still try to live life as normal. But things have changed. The family is now all in constant trepidation, wary of when that time comes. A day now is full of worry that I might heed news of you leaving, afraid of ever having to bear that. Every time when I gaze upon you, bedridden and weak, I make sure to look out for the signs of life: a pulse, the rise and fall of your chest,your hands twitching as those you were reciting your prayers. And with that, I can be relieved for that few moments.

I really wonder what would be the better thing.To continue fighting for your life or to ease you of your suffering. Haha, reminds me of my Thinking skills argument, whether to legalise euthanasia.. But right now, it's not your time yet. So please try the herbs mum sought out =(.

Please don't give up hope. No one can feel up the void if you leave now. Our prayers are all for you. Please be happy and no more bad thoughts. Love.

A Minor Setback

One can start blogging again. =D

With the end of the semester 1 exams, comes the start of the first sem break. XD

And though the exam board picked the worst possible paper to be taken last, with disastrous results ( cytosine!!!), at least the post-exam celebrations got off nicely. Spent remainder of the day with half of Pre-Mad 4 at Pyramid.Ate Nando's and watched X-Men: First Class. (Wouldn't mind watching it again!). Got lost on the way to Subang Sky Park but only used 10 minutes to get back to Sunway =.=

Two weeks without PM4 D=. Longest duration to date?! And I might not come back =(..

Crossroads

Such a dilemma now =(...Sigh...

Oh god, I must be the only JPA scholar here who isn't happy with what they got. And comparing it with the rest of my peers who applied for Medicine, it really is quite good.

But accepting it means leaving behind the people I've been with for the past 5 months now. The PRE-MADDEST bunch of people who balance studies and pranks all so flawlessly! I'll be leaving the food, the people, the environment, lame jokes, weird jokes, dirty jokes, pranks, awesome teachers, awesome people for money. Why why is it always about money T. T

And what's more, a part of me says I should stay. Because accepting the offer would mean I might never know whether I could have achieved further.

Morning breeze

I wasn't really one for change. So much that some things I were looking forward to have also slowly been adopted as routine. Back last year, I was really eager to get college started because one always was curious about new things. But now, high school life seems so much more welcoming. Despite how awesome college is now(especially the people), there are some things from high school it never could replaced. Either that, or there is still some part of me yearning to cling on to anything that holds memories of high school or any proof that it happened.

Being not one for change, I don't only mean it for parts of life but for people as well. I have this intolerance towards fickle-minded people. The constant changing of minds proves to be quite annoying, especially at the expense of other people.It's just irksome if one's decision is constantly altered until you dunno what they want anymore >=( .That's why I at least try to stick to decisions once made.

Though it's inevitable to encounter such cases, one just has to go with the flow. I just got to remind myself that they are the ones who control their own life.

Into the Fire

So, since I don't feel like repeating myself anymore and people have requested for this, I shall write a post on my JPA interview =).

(though of course this is MY interview and what occurs to me might not happen to you).

So, I arrived at the venue at about 7.05am. Surprisingly, there were already a number of parents and applicants waiting there. So, at around 7.30am, people started flooding in. And some of the JPA workers arrived to stick the name lists on the board. We are required to locate our names on the board and sign. Applicants are divided into groups of five for different "panels" which I guess refers to your panel of interviewers. Mine was Panel 3 FYI. The interviewers soon arrived as well and headed up first. Oh, speaking of the location. You will be required to wait downstairs in a courtyard. The board with the name list of applicants will be located in the middle of the courtyard. All interviews will be done upstairs.

Once my panel was called, we headed up to the waiting room. There, we are required to hand in our clear folders and photocopied documents. Each panel is assigned a counter. You will be handed a name tag with a number on so pin it on la. The people behind the counter will begin work by sorting out the docs and arranging them. So, this is the time where you can interact with your group mates. Mine were quite friendly and we managed to talked about some trivial stuff. Other groups waiting were all so stiff o.0.

Then, our turn came. We lined up according to number and headed to the interview room. My panel of interviewers consisted of three Malay guys who looked vaguely familiar for some reason. They seemed pretty friendly. First thing the guy in the middle said was to relax as we were the first batch and also to ask whether we had breakfast yet haha.

Ok, we started off with introductions. Since the panel asked this in BM, we had to answer in BM. And by introductions, they actually wanted more than just a simple introduction. We included family info (parents' career, siblings),hobbies and also a bit about our ambitions. And once one of us was done with the intro, they would question us(still in BM) regarding what we said during the introduction. So, I guess you should make sure you say valid things! Well, for mine, hmm.. I mentioned both my parents were working in account-related fields, so they asked why I didn't choose to be an accountant as well, which led me explaining why I wanted to be a doctor. And also a bit about Guiding, as I touched that and the charity work I have done. (thinking back, I think I was asked the least questions o.0). And I guess it's ok to inject some english words if you can't think of their BM counterparts in time, just don't say full english sentences. One guy got told off for doing so.

Next off, was very random. (In BM). The interviewer asked me to name the other 4 applicants, which I could btw. And for another applicant, he asked her to say out the hobbies the rest of us had mentioned during our intros.

After that, the interviewer (this time in English) asked us to each say a strength of ours and how it would help us in our career. So, I think I expressed this answer more fluently =D. And then, surprise...the end to our interview o.0.

We then returned to the waiting room to collect our stuff. Oh, you needn't bring so much stuff la. Because we were told to just leave everything in the waiting room =. =. And if you have Foreign Language Proficiency certs, do make a certified copy. They might come in handy =).

Me and my group mates exchanged contact details and that it's free to go.