Requiem

The reason I don't frequent this place as much seems to be because it has slowly been breached by parties which I would rather not reveal the inner workings of my mind to. I have contemplated another site but the prospect of moving and informing faithful readers who still seem to visit this blog in hope of a new entry is just plain redundant at this moment of time.

So, I have returned because I have chosen to let that be for now. And I really have to write something besides recurring articles, which is most of the extra-curricular writing I have been doing this year. So this post shall have some relation to writing, or something that encompasses writing.

One can't say I'm a very good commander. I have always put myself in a situation where I care more of the feelings of my subordinates comrades than how the outcome of our assignment would be. This usually just leads to unstable decisions and a lot of doubt over me on their behalf. But after about two months of being in this position once more, it gets tiring trying to be ever so democratic yet getting abysmal results, a reason why I look to tyranny as a more effective ruling method,though to certain extents.

And after much venting to a certain friend, I too was encouraged to shed such informalities and reprise my role on a more stricter basis. I have tried that and it does seem to bring about different responses from people, much to my bemusement. Hopefully I can yield a tighter leash on the doings and speech of certain people now. And that I do find the trigger point in me that would unleash my myriads of scolding, not just good understanding friends, but all who have not done their duties up to par.

In simpler words, one should screw the opinions of others if they get in the way of getting things done smoothly.

Peddling

I was walking back to the car in the rain today when someone suddenly called "miss!" from behind. I turned around and saw this scrawny chinese guy in a baggy shirt and orange crocs(these made quite an impression on me). He then asked" Are you Chinese?" Pretty dumbfounded, I nodded. He then started going on in Cantonese about how he was just released from a lockup and he needed money to take the bus back home and he was asking for about 7 ringgit. After a moment silence, I only mustered a "sorry" and he left, obviously in a hurry to get out of the rain.

I don't know what to make of that incident. Once I got into the car, I felt pretty bad. What if he really just wanted to go home. I had my suspicions that he could be a kidnapper or drug addict, but he wouldn't be asking so openly right? And he talked pretty decently too. Hope he managed to make it back home.

Oh, and while I was turning out from SS15 I saw an Indian guy dressed similarly crossing the road. He had brown crocs on. =0

Yellow is the new Black

Today would surely be somewhat short of historical for most of us here in Malaysia.

And with how the day started, I didn't expect it to be that thrilling.

Today was the 9th of July, where the Bersih 2.0 rally was scheduled to be held. I was informed ofthis weeks ago through tweets from politically-active friends( who have themselves gone on to march in today's rally) As such, the events leading up to the rally were no surprise, though the road blocks were quite infuriating. And though supporting the cause silently to this day, I knew I would never have gotten permission to attend the actual rally. So the Saturday morning was spent as usual. It was when I opened my twitter to get updates that something more closer to home hit.

The twitter newsfeed was congested as how it has been this few days on bersih. I was regularly updated by tweets from the friends attending the march, Jo Fan and Chun Yeen. Soon, a shocking tweet was posted by Chun Yeen. Jo Fan had been arrested! Friends on twitter who saw were equally concerned. What were the chances of one of our friends getting caught over thousands and thousands of marchers. What more he is just merely a student like me, a st

udent with great passion for our country.

Here was where it started. Posts were made to Jo Fan's wall wishing him safety and also to give thri prayers. Friends all helped to contact his parents and acquire his details whe

n Chun Yeen

needed it to help bail Jo Fan out. Friends even all started changing their profile pictures to striking colours of yellow to show their support.

Facebook yellow-fied

What I noticed too was that all this action came from fellow CHS-ians whether alumni or current students. And it just made me feel a surge of pride for my schoolmates. To see how everyone was showing Jo Fan their support and how we are all aware of the political situation of our country is just so ...membanggakan XD We all stood in solidarity today. Despite whether we knew Jo Fan as close friends or acquaintances, we all gave our thoughts

to him, be it by liking a post regarding him, sending our wishes or helping to get his parent's contact numbers, Jo Fan's arrest though unfortunate, shows us that we all care for our nation and also for those who choose to represent us when we can't speak ourselves. Our generation would surely bring change to our country, with our passion, Bersih's 8 demands might come true after all.

This is a shoutout to Jo Fan, Chun Yeen, Mun Chung and the rest of our generation who chose to risk injury and arrest to represent us in this plea for free and fair elections. And to Jo Fan, we hope you come back safe.

(from left) Chun Yeen, Mun Chung and Jo Fan

Awaiting news of you being set free.

Long Road to Ruin

Today would have been the second time that I participated in the KL marathon (also still 10km). Yet, somehow this year's experience struck to me as a more wholesome and contented one compared to that of last year.

Nevertheless, these good vibes did not come without some initial bad sentiments. For one thing, as I type this, my lower body aches all over, especially my right pelvic area, merely rising my leg sends a surge of pain coming. Anyway, now I think I understand what Chen Haw meant by how the hardest path is getting yourself onto the starting line. Since I had practically zero training(except for a pathetic jog once around the housing area), I was pretty worried about still going on for this marathon. Having no prior training was a main worry and as well as wondering whether doing this would have just wasted my Sunday morning. Fortunately, I did get out of bed, reluctantly.

Instead of joining this with my friends like last year, this year I went with my aunt and brothers. Me and the older of the my two younger brothers were to run the 10km track while aunt and other brother did 5km. With my brother running with me, I was temporarily relieved, knowing that I had someone with me in case I couldn't take it. But as expected, he got ahead and I was left alone amongst a sea of strangers. Ironic yes?

With that, the beginning of my marathon was plagued by flitting thoughts of despair and fear. For I fear that with the lack of training, my stamina wouldn't be up to par. After what seemed like miles of running, one was shocked that the marker only indicated that this was the 1st km covered. But what could you do, back and forth you only see road, so I ran on.

My pace was admittedly inconsistent. I walked for most distances, allowing myself to sprint every now and then to not be left behind too much. When I came across the 5km,at least I knew I only had halfway left.

But one thing about being in this alone, I needn't worry about how far ahead the rest where. I had already expected my brother to be ahead. I could go along my own pace as long as it wasn't too slow. But judging from what I overheard from other participants, hopefully my time equals that of my previous run. One's mind was also cleared from other worries momentarily as the main focus was on the road and finishing. After every KM marker, I hope to be able to see the next one soon and for everyone in front of me, I hoped to catch up. I got to get some real exercise after months of static studying and lazing. It was just nice to be one the road and to observe the things around you.

After reaching the finish line, it really was a tremendous relief and the physical burden you held back finally takes its toll on you. I seemed more contented with what I achieved this time compared to the last.Though my time could be worse(can't check the results), but I guess I know why people enjoy marathons so much now. The feeling you get after challenging your limits and yourself, is just. Satisfying.

What more was the congratulations from friends, including some who ran 21km. What is my mere 10km compared to their half-marathon? And yet, they still commented me on a good job. Thank you =).

Now with this spark lit, hopefully a half-marathon or even full marathon(if Raleigh fundraising sees the need =0) will be in my capability.

Gone now. Be at peace at last =)

Hold On

They say that life is full of little miracles, the fact that one is able to wake up alive and well everyday is one of them. But, what if waking up everyday, still (barely) alive, with the thought that you would have to continue suffering in this world. What would you think of your life then?

Everyday now, I still try to live life as normal. But things have changed. The family is now all in constant trepidation, wary of when that time comes. A day now is full of worry that I might heed news of you leaving, afraid of ever having to bear that. Every time when I gaze upon you, bedridden and weak, I make sure to look out for the signs of life: a pulse, the rise and fall of your chest,your hands twitching as those you were reciting your prayers. And with that, I can be relieved for that few moments.

I really wonder what would be the better thing.To continue fighting for your life or to ease you of your suffering. Haha, reminds me of my Thinking skills argument, whether to legalise euthanasia.. But right now, it's not your time yet. So please try the herbs mum sought out =(.

Please don't give up hope. No one can feel up the void if you leave now. Our prayers are all for you. Please be happy and no more bad thoughts. Love.

A Minor Setback

One can start blogging again. =D

With the end of the semester 1 exams, comes the start of the first sem break. XD

And though the exam board picked the worst possible paper to be taken last, with disastrous results ( cytosine!!!), at least the post-exam celebrations got off nicely. Spent remainder of the day with half of Pre-Mad 4 at Pyramid.Ate Nando's and watched X-Men: First Class. (Wouldn't mind watching it again!). Got lost on the way to Subang Sky Park but only used 10 minutes to get back to Sunway =.=

Two weeks without PM4 D=. Longest duration to date?! And I might not come back =(..