Internal War

Seriously, I really appreciate what you all said to me that day and how you tried to console. But maybe what I wanted more was hope(!). Someone to say "It's alright, maybe you should go look for ..." or " I know what you should do...". But I don't think that's ever possible. And maybe I'm the only person to go to such means to join a club==.

Let's see, what did you all say to me again?

" It's their own lost for not passing you"

If it really will be a loss to them, then why did they fail me without any hesitation? I don't think me not being there will be any loss to them. They do choose the best in the test and I don't seem to qualify.

" Maybe you're just not suited for it"

T-T Maybe so, but you all should know how much it meant for me to pass. My little dream is tarnished. And it's writing, T-T is it saying that I'm not suited to writing articles(well, maybe so) The term "lone wolf" comes to mind.

"You still have to move on"
Yesss, I know. I don't think I've rooted myself in a spot and started emo-ing have I? I still have my false hope, yes but I worry about other things too, like that upcoming camp! >< Homework, little meaningless everyday life stuff. On the contrary, I have too little to worry about, so I worry alot about insignificant stuff.

"Just focus on your other commitments"
I know this too. But like I said, you all should know how much it meant to me to be in the Board. T_T.And I would probably willingly give up all that to get EIC. Sighs

I thought of more arguments than this but I can't remember them==. Well, maybe it's for the best, writing this post already makes me guilty for going against your concerns.

Hope-what I really need! And the name of my group =D. Change the world!!!

I've been having a lot of internal arguments in my brain today @.@

And I was trying to win one about the night gathering theme just now till my opponent set her status to "busy".== Black Jack?

P.S Damn! Commonwealth Essay deadline is on the 1st of March!