Well, this is it.
The interview's tomorrow(and Saturday).
And, I feel. extremely. worried.
I had all those dreams, fantasies about what it would be like if I took over. But, that's all they are, fantasies. Reality had to smack me in the face and remind how out of the league I was. ><
Is it hopeless?
You would probably be upset over me being fui ba?AS you always did reprimand me about my low self esteem.
Actually this post is about You. Curious? ;)
What you say always did had an influence on me, ever since you left that comment in April last year. I'm sorry I never saw it earlier but only after the event happened == but it helped. Really.I felt so moved and surprised lol to find out that someone actually cared about my predicament. When I want to revisit the past of last year or just get my morale boosted, I would reread it. I just did. Not too long ago. I remember you said to relish the sense of satisfaction you get after completing a heavy burden, knowing your hardwork paid off. And with that folio(!)
>< I have to face now, that phrase seems like a very good motivator. ^^"
And, after rereading that comment, I felt so disappointed with myself. What you had expected of me last year did not come true.
Show my confidence? I don't think so
Unleash my potential? Uh-uh
Do things without being told? Nope
Conclusion: == Sighs, I have failed. And what happened April THIS year would prove that.
Anyway, I guess some time later after realising it was you who wrote the comment, I held you in high regard.
I mean, I would want to inspire people too. I wished you did have been like that while you were in office (well, there's still some time). Maybe you did touch lives but subtley and individually. I can't say I totally agree with how you did things this year but some things never change I guess. If I ever had the chance, I would do things differently. I just wonder, if you had been like the way you were when giving comments in handling situations, would the outcome be different?
Just hang in there, it's almost over. Not all daggers are pointed at you. But I guess, I may never understand your situation.
Despite your round being full of ups and downs, I still respect you. Cheers to you. *Salutes*
The true intention of this post: Thank You.
Whether it was sympathy, your duty or true consideration that made you do it, thank you. =)
I guess I have to face the music tomorrow. I honestly cannot say I will still continue serving whole-heartedly despite not getting what I want, as I too, am human. Humans have some degree of greed in them always. But I know where my commitment lies and I shall not betray it.
I pray for calm in this stormy weather.
P.S I have no idea whether you'll see it because I do not know how frequently you visit this place. But still, I write.=)
6 comments:
I hope that you do not mind me posting this here but I didn't want this posted in the shoutout box because it'll disappear very soon there.
The thing is...
Sometimes it's good to aim high.
Sometimes we should know where's our limits and NOT aim too high because...
Well, let's say that you thought that you can jump over a barbed fence and only realise halfway through you can't. You'd end up hurting yourself really badly. But at the same time, if you never try, you'll never get out of this confined area.
So, the solution is,
do things one step at a time. If you can't go over it in a leap, climb over it slowly. If you don't have enoguh time left for it, at least try to climb as high as you can. Don't ever give up, because that's how failure comes. At the same time, don't let overly great ambitions cloud your thoughts. It's good to dream but it gets dangerous when you dream too much.
I'm so SORRY. I know I'm a pessimist and I shouldn't be affecting you like this but I just want you to see.
Do your best. I believe you'll be in the COH even though all odds are against you and more than one person thinks that you're out before the result's even out. I believe you're in. I believe you can be way, way higher than just the Ketua Taman Sumber. It's just that you aren't exactly the one to stand at the top.
Sorry.
I don't really know how to say this anymore.
Sounds so harsh and heartbreaking.
But I'll support you. I just want you to know that. Most people I know give up before they're halfway through the journey and you're all the way here, still hoping, never giving up.
Gtg now. Good luck.
You wanted to post THAT in the shoutbox! So looong==
Swtnya, isn't this only one sentence and the rest about something else.=.=
Sighs. Thanks =)
I never did stop wondering about something, you know.
Am I giving you too much false hope?
Do I sound like a hypocrite?
I reread what I typed and felt like... Oh, did I really type that? I still mean what I said but those words coming from me sounds... fake @___@ And I still haven't called Wen yet =O
o.0 That felt so discouraging ==
Why do you have to call Wen?
i really don't know how to comment on your post and the past interview. So i think ill just type something i read from a book just yesterday. From a book I bought from the book fair.
"Poet, critic and dictionary writer Samuel Johnson observed,"He has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove." Most people want to change the world by to improve their lives, but the world they need to change first is the one inside themselves. That is a choice-one that some are not willing to make."
Erm... I have no idea how much this could relate to me and YOUR situation but I hope this helps. I have no intentions to discourage you or anything. Whatever it is, enjoy guiding. Stay positive and be happy la... at least you smile more often now.
Samuel Johnson, is that Mark Twain ah? Why does everyone think I'm so cold-blooded== I can smile a lot you know.
Post a Comment