Sunday, June 26, 2011

Long Road to Ruin

Today would have been the second time that I participated in the KL marathon (also still 10km). Yet, somehow this year's experience struck to me as a more wholesome and contented one compared to that of last year.

Nevertheless, these good vibes did not come without some initial bad sentiments. For one thing, as I type this, my lower body aches all over, especially my right pelvic area, merely rising my leg sends a surge of pain coming. Anyway, now I think I understand what Chen Haw meant by how the hardest path is getting yourself onto the starting line. Since I had practically zero training(except for a pathetic jog once around the housing area), I was pretty worried about still going on for this marathon. Having no prior training was a main worry and as well as wondering whether doing this would have just wasted my Sunday morning. Fortunately, I did get out of bed, reluctantly.

Instead of joining this with my friends like last year, this year I went with my aunt and brothers. Me and the older of the my two younger brothers were to run the 10km track while aunt and other brother did 5km. With my brother running with me, I was temporarily relieved, knowing that I had someone with me in case I couldn't take it. But as expected, he got ahead and I was left alone amongst a sea of strangers. Ironic yes?

With that, the beginning of my marathon was plagued by flitting thoughts of despair and fear. For I fear that with the lack of training, my stamina wouldn't be up to par. After what seemed like miles of running, one was shocked that the marker only indicated that this was the 1st km covered. But what could you do, back and forth you only see road, so I ran on.

My pace was admittedly inconsistent. I walked for most distances, allowing myself to sprint every now and then to not be left behind too much. When I came across the 5km,at least I knew I only had halfway left.

But one thing about being in this alone, I needn't worry about how far ahead the rest where. I had already expected my brother to be ahead. I could go along my own pace as long as it wasn't too slow. But judging from what I overheard from other participants, hopefully my time equals that of my previous run. One's mind was also cleared from other worries momentarily as the main focus was on the road and finishing. After every KM marker, I hope to be able to see the next one soon and for everyone in front of me, I hoped to catch up. I got to get some real exercise after months of static studying and lazing. It was just nice to be one the road and to observe the things around you.

After reaching the finish line, it really was a tremendous relief and the physical burden you held back finally takes its toll on you. I seemed more contented with what I achieved this time compared to the last.Though my time could be worse(can't check the results), but I guess I know why people enjoy marathons so much now. The feeling you get after challenging your limits and yourself, is just. Satisfying.

What more was the congratulations from friends, including some who ran 21km. What is my mere 10km compared to their half-marathon? And yet, they still commented me on a good job. Thank you =).

Now with this spark lit, hopefully a half-marathon or even full marathon(if Raleigh fundraising sees the need =0) will be in my capability.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Gone now. Be at peace at last =)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Hold On

They say that life is full of little miracles, the fact that one is able to wake up alive and well everyday is one of them. But, what if waking up everyday, still (barely) alive, with the thought that you would have to continue suffering in this world. What would you think of your life then?

Everyday now, I still try to live life as normal. But things have changed. The family is now all in constant trepidation, wary of when that time comes. A day now is full of worry that I might heed news of you leaving, afraid of ever having to bear that. Every time when I gaze upon you, bedridden and weak, I make sure to look out for the signs of life: a pulse, the rise and fall of your chest,your hands twitching as those you were reciting your prayers. And with that, I can be relieved for that few moments.

I really wonder what would be the better thing.To continue fighting for your life or to ease you of your suffering. Haha, reminds me of my Thinking skills argument, whether to legalise euthanasia.. But right now, it's not your time yet. So please try the herbs mum sought out =(.

Please don't give up hope. No one can feel up the void if you leave now. Our prayers are all for you. Please be happy and no more bad thoughts. Love.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A Minor Setback

One can start blogging again. =D

With the end of the semester 1 exams, comes the start of the first sem break. XD

And though the exam board picked the worst possible paper to be taken last, with disastrous results ( cytosine!!!), at least the post-exam celebrations got off nicely. Spent remainder of the day with half of Pre-Mad 4 at Pyramid.Ate Nando's and watched X-Men: First Class. (Wouldn't mind watching it again!). Got lost on the way to Subang Sky Park but only used 10 minutes to get back to Sunway =.=

Two weeks without PM4 D=. Longest duration to date?! And I might not come back =(..