A Leap of Faith(Fate)

To be honest, I was already quite fascinated with the option of taking a gap year, even before I got into the predicament I am in now. When my UCAS application results were coming out, and I got my first rejection, half of me was just hoping everything would just turn up null so I could go on the gap year. And well, they did!

So, though it still stings, I am still looking forward to the possibilities of a free year :D Shall list out my plans. So many options swimming in my head, yet am unsure whether I'll be able to accomplish them all.

1. Learn First Aid+ Life Saving
This one is quite a priority. Not just because I'll be studying Medicine(hopefully?) but because I think these skills are quite vital. In case of emergencies, at least I'll be able to help somehow, instead of standing still in wide-mouthed fear. Have found some classes, shall look more into it after A2.

2. Volunteer
This one also is a must, and unless I'm that heartless or fussy of the organisations I volunteer for, I will definitely be devoting my time to a charity/organisation. I was initially considering applying to volunteer at Pax Lodge, which was in the UK. But I only found out there was a deadline, a few days before the deadline... Furthermore, the application process is quite complicated, needing 3 references and all that. Have looked at some websites and asked a friend for any recommendations, still waiting for my answer.

3. Read and Watch!
So many unread books I have collecting dust on my bookshelves. Must get to devouring them before I buy more books and increase the pile. Will explore new series of manga too XD. For watch, it would be movies.  I never really went to the cinemas when I was younger, probably missed out on some good movies. So when I'm not out exploring the world, can still do so mentally through a good film.

4.UCAS/ Common App(?)
One reason why I considered going to Pax Lodge was because if I do reapply for UCAS. I wouldn't have to fly over to the UK for any interview, because I'll be there already!  And Common App, also still considering this. Preparing for SATs itself would just take up so much of the Gap Year, and more money would be used for the application. I do sort of rue not trying this out last year. The American Education System does seem quite appealing. It supports the moulding of all-rounded individuals, so you may not only learn things from your course. Yet, admissions(into the Ivies) are so tough. Who knows whether the risk is worth it. Oh yes, I was put off applying because Medicine is only Post-Graduate there and that the US is quite scary. Looking past that now, and just thinking about how the education system would benefit me.(Won't apply for Medicine if I do try this out).

5.Expedition!
I first saw a Raleigh article a few years back, and was keen on making a trip to Borneo to really "Get Out There". Hearing the testimonials of past-venturers, really inspires you to take this leap. One would really come back different from this, giving yourself away to nature for 10 weeks. Finally, an opportunity has appeared. Shall be participating in the Spring 2013 expedition if all goes well.

Besides that expedition, I really do want to do more travelling. Had actually planned to head to Taiwan for cycling with a friend. Unfortunately, she now has other commitments to tend too. Besides that idea, haven't really given this much thought, except maybe that I should go to the UK again.

6.Climbing Mt. Kinabalu
Read an article here . The writer was recounting his trip from when they started off at KK up until they reached the peak. As a Malaysian and self-proclaimed adventurous(only for certain cases), I must achieve this if not during my gap year than some day. After seeing Kareem's(said article's writer) photos, I was hooked. I have to get up there and see those sights for myself. The thing is, how do I train myself to be physically fit for it so I don't tumble 4000km down and who to go with.

* Mind the Gap Malaysia was started by fellow Malaysian students who are currently on their Gap Years. One of the founders, Louise is an old high school senior, thus how I came upon it.

7.Clean my room
I probably have much stowed away junk that I have forgotten about. And I lost my Form 5 photos D: Really mind-boggling how stuff just keeps piling up.

That's about it for now. A2 comes first!

Back

The blog shall be open to public again :) And as I said, blog post after uni results are out. First :

 

Ain’t that just sad? You may ignore the final choice, because the course wasn’t Medicine.  I think if I had blogged about this earlier, the post would be way more emotional than it is now. Currently, I heard that friends who are of better qualifications (at least academically) too receiving all rejections. It seems that for us Medicine applicants, the admission process and the chances of selection are just that more tedious. However, after seeing those even more deserving fail too. Doesn’t make you that sorry for yourself. It’s still unfair though, seeing how things have worked out better for some than others. Guess it’s just luck sometimes.

One thing the string of rejections has done though, is it made me question whether I was really that suitable for the course. Being one (who tries )to not settle for second best, I have this mentality that if I couldn’t achieve the best of something , the I probably am not suited for it. e.g if I couldn’t get into that (high-ranked) uni for that particular field, I may not be suited for the course after all.  I know that is just BS, but it’s quite hard to shrug off this kiasu attitude I’ve developed since..secondary school? :3

As a form of comfort:

This is from the Guardian’s University Guide for Medicine. And those circled are the unis I’ve applied to. Yeah, so in my defence, they were all elites D= though some say Dundee was the black sheep in my application. My state in the applications was like a “You’re good, but sorry you’re not good ENOUGH”.  It must have something to do with my articulation(or lack thereof). Since interviews were all used to judge me before the decision was made. Except for Edinburgh, who had no interviews.(So I guess I lack in other aspects too). 

So now, a lingering thought that has kept plaguing is : Should I have chosen Medicine? (Un)Fortunately, I get around to organising my reasons for choosing it in the first place and reassure myself. Though I wish my path would be clearer. Being a jack of all traits does this to you. I actually enjoy arguments(though I usually only speak better and make better arguments  when it is typed, oh the irony). Law? And I do write though not as extensively as before. So considered being an author, journalist? Spent long hours just thinking about how people and the world work? Hm philosophy? Used to draw manga characters while friends gave their opinions? So there was design? There doesn’t see to be any fixed and certain occupation that one is perfect for.  If only I could just be a volunteer my whole life, to travel and meet people. How enriching that would be.

On the bright side of this: Gap Year! To do all exploring I want before I head back to formal education. Hoping that a year off would give me some enlightenment.  And since trials are over and it is now the holidays, shall properly plan what I will due with that year.