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The blog shall be open to public again :) And as I said, blog post after uni results are out. First :

 

Ain’t that just sad? You may ignore the final choice, because the course wasn’t Medicine.  I think if I had blogged about this earlier, the post would be way more emotional than it is now. Currently, I heard that friends who are of better qualifications (at least academically) too receiving all rejections. It seems that for us Medicine applicants, the admission process and the chances of selection are just that more tedious. However, after seeing those even more deserving fail too. Doesn’t make you that sorry for yourself. It’s still unfair though, seeing how things have worked out better for some than others. Guess it’s just luck sometimes.

One thing the string of rejections has done though, is it made me question whether I was really that suitable for the course. Being one (who tries )to not settle for second best, I have this mentality that if I couldn’t achieve the best of something , the I probably am not suited for it. e.g if I couldn’t get into that (high-ranked) uni for that particular field, I may not be suited for the course after all.  I know that is just BS, but it’s quite hard to shrug off this kiasu attitude I’ve developed since..secondary school? :3

As a form of comfort:

This is from the Guardian’s University Guide for Medicine. And those circled are the unis I’ve applied to. Yeah, so in my defence, they were all elites D= though some say Dundee was the black sheep in my application. My state in the applications was like a “You’re good, but sorry you’re not good ENOUGH”.  It must have something to do with my articulation(or lack thereof). Since interviews were all used to judge me before the decision was made. Except for Edinburgh, who had no interviews.(So I guess I lack in other aspects too). 

So now, a lingering thought that has kept plaguing is : Should I have chosen Medicine? (Un)Fortunately, I get around to organising my reasons for choosing it in the first place and reassure myself. Though I wish my path would be clearer. Being a jack of all traits does this to you. I actually enjoy arguments(though I usually only speak better and make better arguments  when it is typed, oh the irony). Law? And I do write though not as extensively as before. So considered being an author, journalist? Spent long hours just thinking about how people and the world work? Hm philosophy? Used to draw manga characters while friends gave their opinions? So there was design? There doesn’t see to be any fixed and certain occupation that one is perfect for.  If only I could just be a volunteer my whole life, to travel and meet people. How enriching that would be.

On the bright side of this: Gap Year! To do all exploring I want before I head back to formal education. Hoping that a year off would give me some enlightenment.  And since trials are over and it is now the holidays, shall properly plan what I will due with that year.