The Winner stands alone

My AS finals are looming and me being me, has yet to discover the urge to plop myself in front of my desk and to tackle past years(on a regular basis). Though this nonchalance has its consequences, such as breaking my A-streak because of trials =.=. Of course, I always have the alibi that I had not really try(which I guess is partially true).

Anyway, a moment of self-reflection here.It is somewhat sad to note that, I never do seem to choose the easier way in life. During the secondary school years, I could have chosen to be totally immersed in studies but (owing this to "kiasu-ness"), I always tried to grab any opportunity thrust at me on the aspect of co-curricular activities, one major example would be taking Queen's Guide(though I hold no regrets of course). I chose to stay up late completing logbooks, skipping class, troubling teachers and parents, and constant worry over books and full attendance. Nevertheless, it was a decision that was worth it, I could say that was one phase of high school that helped mold me a lot.

Now,of course was the scholarship. If I was an easily contented person, I would probably be residing in Shah Alam for most of the weeks now. But alas, I would probably be tormented with "What if"s my whole life if I had done so. I chose to stay where I am. I chose to complete my A--Levels next year June like I had intended instead of starting over and slowly finishing two years later. I applied for probably some of the more competitive medical schools in the UK, instead of having a "backup" or applying for more "humble" unis and be satisfied at that.

I still choose to be somewhat active in ECA for college and also in outside organisations. I choose to handle certain things like class shirts or assignments because I do not want to feel inferior to or let my class be inferior or less united to another class.

Even though I may not always win, I despise the feeling of settling for second best, especially if I never tested whether I could be top.

On a side note, I have already done UKCAT and IELTS for uni apps.BMAT is in November. All the spending for these 3 have already amounted to about Rm1800! Not to mention the UCAS fee and COPA fee....