The Winner stands alone

My AS finals are looming and me being me, has yet to discover the urge to plop myself in front of my desk and to tackle past years(on a regular basis). Though this nonchalance has its consequences, such as breaking my A-streak because of trials =.=. Of course, I always have the alibi that I had not really try(which I guess is partially true).

Anyway, a moment of self-reflection here.It is somewhat sad to note that, I never do seem to choose the easier way in life. During the secondary school years, I could have chosen to be totally immersed in studies but (owing this to "kiasu-ness"), I always tried to grab any opportunity thrust at me on the aspect of co-curricular activities, one major example would be taking Queen's Guide(though I hold no regrets of course). I chose to stay up late completing logbooks, skipping class, troubling teachers and parents, and constant worry over books and full attendance. Nevertheless, it was a decision that was worth it, I could say that was one phase of high school that helped mold me a lot.

Now,of course was the scholarship. If I was an easily contented person, I would probably be residing in Shah Alam for most of the weeks now. But alas, I would probably be tormented with "What if"s my whole life if I had done so. I chose to stay where I am. I chose to complete my A--Levels next year June like I had intended instead of starting over and slowly finishing two years later. I applied for probably some of the more competitive medical schools in the UK, instead of having a "backup" or applying for more "humble" unis and be satisfied at that.

I still choose to be somewhat active in ECA for college and also in outside organisations. I choose to handle certain things like class shirts or assignments because I do not want to feel inferior to or let my class be inferior or less united to another class.

Even though I may not always win, I despise the feeling of settling for second best, especially if I never tested whether I could be top.

On a side note, I have already done UKCAT and IELTS for uni apps.BMAT is in November. All the spending for these 3 have already amounted to about Rm1800! Not to mention the UCAS fee and COPA fee....

Pixel Perfect

I often wonder what life would be like if we were more easily contented. Like those avatars in the game: The Sims 3. They primarily just need to have their basics needs fulfilled to be fulfilled and their mood meter goes up. Of course, they also have skills to acquire to further upgrade their capabilities.

(Yes, this is Sims Social ==)

But if only people were just as simple. Sims have no specific tastes as to what food or clothes to buy and they just meekly follow the controller's orders. Furthermore, it's so easy to understand what they want as there is a meter and indicator when their moods deteriorate and they get bored/dirty/tired.

If only real people were that easily understood D=.

Trying to be somewhat philosophical here? haha

Water Bottles on the floor!

Today I just sat for the IELTS exam. And to be honest, I don't know why, for an exam where the advice by peers(with above average English proficiency)I've been given is to not bother studying for it, I felt exceptionally tense. Maybe, because it involves a fee of about RM 550, or that despite whether I retake or not, the universities will only accept the first attempt's score. So, I kept having bad premonitions of slipping up over the days. But what wonders me most, that despite the worry, a side of me is still as slack. Well, I did prepare for it, though not as intensively as I could have, and I did spend almost ever day this week working on articles for CALEB, but it's not to say I could have spared time to study.

But then again, have I ever given it all for an exam? I never pull all-nighters, because I feel it would only make my mind groggy and unfocused in the morning. I don't think I could make myself truly study for a whole day but then, who could? Random musings.

And I guess it's a good thing I didn't underestimate IELTS. Shall hope for the best two weeks later...

Requiem

The reason I don't frequent this place as much seems to be because it has slowly been breached by parties which I would rather not reveal the inner workings of my mind to. I have contemplated another site but the prospect of moving and informing faithful readers who still seem to visit this blog in hope of a new entry is just plain redundant at this moment of time.

So, I have returned because I have chosen to let that be for now. And I really have to write something besides recurring articles, which is most of the extra-curricular writing I have been doing this year. So this post shall have some relation to writing, or something that encompasses writing.

One can't say I'm a very good commander. I have always put myself in a situation where I care more of the feelings of my subordinates comrades than how the outcome of our assignment would be. This usually just leads to unstable decisions and a lot of doubt over me on their behalf. But after about two months of being in this position once more, it gets tiring trying to be ever so democratic yet getting abysmal results, a reason why I look to tyranny as a more effective ruling method,though to certain extents.

And after much venting to a certain friend, I too was encouraged to shed such informalities and reprise my role on a more stricter basis. I have tried that and it does seem to bring about different responses from people, much to my bemusement. Hopefully I can yield a tighter leash on the doings and speech of certain people now. And that I do find the trigger point in me that would unleash my myriads of scolding, not just good understanding friends, but all who have not done their duties up to par.

In simpler words, one should screw the opinions of others if they get in the way of getting things done smoothly.

Peddling

I was walking back to the car in the rain today when someone suddenly called "miss!" from behind. I turned around and saw this scrawny chinese guy in a baggy shirt and orange crocs(these made quite an impression on me). He then asked" Are you Chinese?" Pretty dumbfounded, I nodded. He then started going on in Cantonese about how he was just released from a lockup and he needed money to take the bus back home and he was asking for about 7 ringgit. After a moment silence, I only mustered a "sorry" and he left, obviously in a hurry to get out of the rain.

I don't know what to make of that incident. Once I got into the car, I felt pretty bad. What if he really just wanted to go home. I had my suspicions that he could be a kidnapper or drug addict, but he wouldn't be asking so openly right? And he talked pretty decently too. Hope he managed to make it back home.

Oh, and while I was turning out from SS15 I saw an Indian guy dressed similarly crossing the road. He had brown crocs on. =0

Yellow is the new Black

Today would surely be somewhat short of historical for most of us here in Malaysia.

And with how the day started, I didn't expect it to be that thrilling.

Today was the 9th of July, where the Bersih 2.0 rally was scheduled to be held. I was informed ofthis weeks ago through tweets from politically-active friends( who have themselves gone on to march in today's rally) As such, the events leading up to the rally were no surprise, though the road blocks were quite infuriating. And though supporting the cause silently to this day, I knew I would never have gotten permission to attend the actual rally. So the Saturday morning was spent as usual. It was when I opened my twitter to get updates that something more closer to home hit.

The twitter newsfeed was congested as how it has been this few days on bersih. I was regularly updated by tweets from the friends attending the march, Jo Fan and Chun Yeen. Soon, a shocking tweet was posted by Chun Yeen. Jo Fan had been arrested! Friends on twitter who saw were equally concerned. What were the chances of one of our friends getting caught over thousands and thousands of marchers. What more he is just merely a student like me, a st

udent with great passion for our country.

Here was where it started. Posts were made to Jo Fan's wall wishing him safety and also to give thri prayers. Friends all helped to contact his parents and acquire his details whe

n Chun Yeen

needed it to help bail Jo Fan out. Friends even all started changing their profile pictures to striking colours of yellow to show their support.

Facebook yellow-fied

What I noticed too was that all this action came from fellow CHS-ians whether alumni or current students. And it just made me feel a surge of pride for my schoolmates. To see how everyone was showing Jo Fan their support and how we are all aware of the political situation of our country is just so ...membanggakan XD We all stood in solidarity today. Despite whether we knew Jo Fan as close friends or acquaintances, we all gave our thoughts

to him, be it by liking a post regarding him, sending our wishes or helping to get his parent's contact numbers, Jo Fan's arrest though unfortunate, shows us that we all care for our nation and also for those who choose to represent us when we can't speak ourselves. Our generation would surely bring change to our country, with our passion, Bersih's 8 demands might come true after all.

This is a shoutout to Jo Fan, Chun Yeen, Mun Chung and the rest of our generation who chose to risk injury and arrest to represent us in this plea for free and fair elections. And to Jo Fan, we hope you come back safe.

(from left) Chun Yeen, Mun Chung and Jo Fan

Awaiting news of you being set free.

Long Road to Ruin

Today would have been the second time that I participated in the KL marathon (also still 10km). Yet, somehow this year's experience struck to me as a more wholesome and contented one compared to that of last year.

Nevertheless, these good vibes did not come without some initial bad sentiments. For one thing, as I type this, my lower body aches all over, especially my right pelvic area, merely rising my leg sends a surge of pain coming. Anyway, now I think I understand what Chen Haw meant by how the hardest path is getting yourself onto the starting line. Since I had practically zero training(except for a pathetic jog once around the housing area), I was pretty worried about still going on for this marathon. Having no prior training was a main worry and as well as wondering whether doing this would have just wasted my Sunday morning. Fortunately, I did get out of bed, reluctantly.

Instead of joining this with my friends like last year, this year I went with my aunt and brothers. Me and the older of the my two younger brothers were to run the 10km track while aunt and other brother did 5km. With my brother running with me, I was temporarily relieved, knowing that I had someone with me in case I couldn't take it. But as expected, he got ahead and I was left alone amongst a sea of strangers. Ironic yes?

With that, the beginning of my marathon was plagued by flitting thoughts of despair and fear. For I fear that with the lack of training, my stamina wouldn't be up to par. After what seemed like miles of running, one was shocked that the marker only indicated that this was the 1st km covered. But what could you do, back and forth you only see road, so I ran on.

My pace was admittedly inconsistent. I walked for most distances, allowing myself to sprint every now and then to not be left behind too much. When I came across the 5km,at least I knew I only had halfway left.

But one thing about being in this alone, I needn't worry about how far ahead the rest where. I had already expected my brother to be ahead. I could go along my own pace as long as it wasn't too slow. But judging from what I overheard from other participants, hopefully my time equals that of my previous run. One's mind was also cleared from other worries momentarily as the main focus was on the road and finishing. After every KM marker, I hope to be able to see the next one soon and for everyone in front of me, I hoped to catch up. I got to get some real exercise after months of static studying and lazing. It was just nice to be one the road and to observe the things around you.

After reaching the finish line, it really was a tremendous relief and the physical burden you held back finally takes its toll on you. I seemed more contented with what I achieved this time compared to the last.Though my time could be worse(can't check the results), but I guess I know why people enjoy marathons so much now. The feeling you get after challenging your limits and yourself, is just. Satisfying.

What more was the congratulations from friends, including some who ran 21km. What is my mere 10km compared to their half-marathon? And yet, they still commented me on a good job. Thank you =).

Now with this spark lit, hopefully a half-marathon or even full marathon(if Raleigh fundraising sees the need =0) will be in my capability.