Blackout

Back in high school when I was taking Lit for SPM, one of the poems we learnt was "A quarrel between day and night". Though it may not be as eloquent as the others( I prefer those that rhyme!), I think one part stuck with us.

“that is why I fear the night

always bringing dream thoughts

making one hungry in the chest

the next morning”

What is it about the night that seems to make it associated with more morbid matters. I tend to drift into my emotional state at night, resulting in most of my poems being written then. Coincidentally, all these poems were on a rather melancholic tone.

It must be during the quiet of the night, when you are alone in your room, facing the computer screen, that inspiration comes to you. In the silence, you let the thoughts that would never venture beyond your subconscious in the day penetrate to your line of thought.  The problems you flung to the back of your head resurface, you doubt the decisions you’ve made, you worry about the next day. Dream thoughts aren’t only nightmares, they occur in reality too. In times of great emotional stress, you let all those extreme feelings settle in the night and they subdue you. You wonder about the point of all this, you ask yourself why did you ever go this far? You feel like giving it all up and you try to escape to the temporary fortress of your dreams, to wake up with a yearning feeling.

I remember how serious conversations occur at night. I use to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, plainly chatting with a few friends. Our topics ranged from trivial daily happenings to those of our organisation’s grave political standing. Two of us were both passionate( I believe we still are now) and long nights used to be spent discussing about the organisations future,  how things have deteriorated dearly compared to the past, how we sought to revive it to it’s former glory and abilities. Certain bonds seem to be fostered from spilling your inner thoughts to like minds late at night, where you find some solace in the other soul reading your words another computer away.

I welcome the night, it brings forth what you would not dare face in the day. It means that daylight is not far away.