Friday, January 6, 2012

Losing the Gamble

I already knew deep down that an offer was too much to ask. I was desperately hoping to at least be pooled. Though my imagination still wondered off to scenes of celebrations and walks around the campus. But still, too much to hope for.

With Gmail being how it is, I already saw the beginning of the email before I clicked it.

"I regret to inform you that,....."

And I could say that my heart did sink. (CHS joke here)

Just to make sure, I read it again. To make matters worst, I won't even be considered for pooling, which would have at least gave me a second lifeline.

Fortunately, I took it better than I had expected. Guess maybe the realization hasn't really hit yet. Proceeded then to tell my friends who I've shared my Cambridge applying experience with, breaking the news to them. Am grateful for their advice and consideration, telling me to not dwell on the matter, to not think it's because I'm the one unworthy, to say that it wasn't worth all that stress anyway, one friend even said he expected me to get in. Haha. After a talk with a senior who's there now, I guess I just made some wrong choices. I gambled on a college I knew was competitive because I wanted to risk a scholarship. Instead of taking the more strategic route of applying to a college with a higher admissions rate, I foolishly(or as my senior says, confidently) risked it on Trinity( which is usually the highest-performing college of Cambridge).

So, if anyone were to blame, it would be me. For not doing as well as I could have and for being so foolish.

Maybe it was just not meant to be.

2 comments:

Shufs said...

Don't be too sad about it Zhiminny! You will still definitely get into a good uni and yeah, perhaps the mistake lay in choosing Trinity but that doesn't mean you aren't good enough! I know you are, most certainly! :) You'll do well, wherever you are. Gambateh! Don't lose hope!

Zhi Min said...

Awww thanks Shufy! =). And ain't losing hope. Guess the battle is over, though hoped I could have stayed on longer. I'm fine, don't worry =)