The End is Near

Hmm..Nothing special to blog about so I'll just do a little run-through of what happened these few days.

On Sunday, watched 2012 with Lyn and Wen XD



Either people already spoiled it for me or it wasn't up to my already very high expectations XD But it was good though I think there could be more to be said than what that ending gave. Ah well.

So, because of the movie, the rest of the day went by pretty fast. We had lunch at 2? 0.o And Wen finally bought running shoes! And in of all places, Isetan==.

Monday, went back to school for meeting which then turned out to be more like um, wasting away in the lodge, then trapped in teacher's office to helping teacher spring clean==. And I ended up with all those Chinese workbooks~

People who went back with me ended up sleeping in the car. Really quickly too. Wow o.0

The different side of the story

Let's count my expenses for today, shall we? :

Bus Ticket to Mid Valley : RM 1
KTM Ticket to KL Sentral : RM 1
Donated to desperate guy : RM 1
KTM ticket to Shah Alam: RM 1.20
(Tried to get by with child ticket)
EPIC FAIL : Charged RM2.50 (adult price) ISHHHH DAMN THEM!
Taxi Fare: RM 10/3 ( Jue paid this first)
Lunch: RM 4.50/2 (someone paid first)
Entrance Fee: RM 3 (someone paid first)
Taxi Fare: RM 10 + RM 2
KTM Ticket back to KL sentral: 6 x Rm 2.50
KTM Ticket back to Midvalley: RM 1 x 6
Bus fare back to school : RM 1x 6

Woot! I saw many figures o.0. So, add up all the stuff I paid for and you have....

RM 45.70 ==

And when shall I get my money bacK? Not anytime soon............

Edit: Oh oh. Actually I should be getting about 32.50 back. Since the rest is my own expenses and about dunno how much I owe myself =. =

I should have been in the cinema now...><

Wow, I have not posted for 2 weeks already=.= What with Pra=Bakp and Permit Camp happening.

Pra was so-so, now I have to continue doing my log books ><.

Permit camp was really smooth and successful, cum some delays. Good job, Han Lin, Huiwen, Pui San, Ming Jean =D!!

Ahh, there's this one thing which is so frustating and really stupid=. = Me, Lyn and Wen were supposed to go out tomorrow but ok , I have a meeting, and meeting IS more important than going out==. Then, Friday we're all not free. Thursday Lyn's going out. Then, today she said she had to go back to school. Soo, nothing.

Then, Lyn called me today ask where were we? Turns out, she could go and she's in school already T_T But wen can't be contacted and I'm stuck at home. Thus, plan failed T_T =(((

And I have Chinese tuition this Friday, and hiking too. Then next Saturday,I have Chinese tuition again, AND hiking again too. WTH ><>< ><

Oh yeah, an online wish for you.

Happy Birthday, Hui Wen!!

(though this is one day late) (i'll find a pic to put up later ^^")

Celebrating your 16th on the 16th XD

Sorry we can't go along with your plans =( We'll find a way

I lost the bet =.=

Why is my internet connection so random?

It suddenly died on me on Saturday then miraculously got revived today. Praise the lord! =D

My workpile increased again today. =. = So I must try and find pleasure in it!! No one said it has to be a grueling and tormenting process to the goal. I shall look on the seemingly bright side now X). And stay seemingly optimistic ^^. (Of course, not too optimistic till I neglect everything.)

My class must have many disciples studying in the way of the ninja. (Almost) everyone has practiced the art of deception where they leave and enter class as they please(yours truly included). And I tell you, there is no exhilaration to it== Well, maybe that was because I was safely hidden in my "safe house" X). The only fear was that of getting caught while walking back. But seeing how the geography of my classroom is......


The yearbook was finally out. And and my poem got published. BUT but the last two stanzas got cut out =(. Even my "=)" at the end! T-T. So the message I wanted to convey is no more. *Sobs*

One more thing, I lost the bet. Two people would probably be smirking when they see this. == Somehow, I think the punishment period is too short....And this is rather a bad time for me(and them) to start working for people==.

And if you were wondering, it was the last of the top 5. Sighs

That Sinking Feeling

I was enjoying myself in the water too much.

Everytime, I looked back I only saw far away swimmers trying to catch up. I only let myself relaxed and allowed the waves to sweep me along. Because I thought I would never be overtaken.

Thus, I got caught off guard.

A huge wave emerged and almost drowned me. I got pushed back to the shore but I saw those who were behind, moving along with that wave, onto a further destination.

But, this is fine. I will use the force of that wave to push me back up, stronger and calmer than before. Ready to tackle the great waters once more. I will be victorious once more.

When will the world start being honest with me?

My insolence annoys even me.

Not only that. Looking back, I am still the same stubborn, obnoxious, defiant introvert I was a year ago.

I cannot live up to my own thoughts and opinions.

I swore to do some Add Math every day during the PMR break. That didn't go well. I procrastinate everything, resulting in rushing, ending with nothing. I have my own opinions on the way things should have gone or should be. But I never do anything about it, not because I can't but because I won't. I would give myself reason after reason, demoralising my own self-worth. I am only talk but no action. Wait, no, I don't even talk. I think. Most ideas start off with short-lived enthusiasm and die out with a fizzle.

I've brought myself up against a task that's a few levels above me.

I wonder. Are there the snickers behind my backs? Are there the disapproving stares coming at my way? Is there the disbelief in my capability. There should be when I myself sometimes regard myself as not worthy. But that on the otherhand will cause the backfire effect urging me to prove myself more.

I am arrogant, obnoxious, insolent, whatever.

I would doubt the ability of others, roll my eyes at their incompetence. Yet, I myself am not any better, or maybe lesser than them. I believe respect is only given where respect is due. True there are only some I've held in my highest regards. I take seniority or authority as an excuse for people to demand respect. I judge on capability and personality.

I am so naive

I suspect a lot of people around me. Unless they have truly gained my trust. Their motives, I predict. Their actions, speech, I analyse. I just treat people honestly by how I feel about them. I don't want to wear a mask, it's so tiring. I don't want to waste time on friendships that won't last. I want people to approach me, but I don't make the first move. As I see the silhoulettes leaving, I ask whether people are just socialising but never truly befriending. I don't know how the world works, I do not want to. I would want to be an individual, standing on my own in any situation but I seem more like a helpless failure, a social outcast.

I've betrayed.

I put false hope on things I will never get.

The dream, will always stay a dream. My imagination keeps me in this rewinding scene, where I achieve what I want. It helps me stay sane. I still foster blind hopes but in truth, I know it is futile. I see a someone, going away and I don't know what to say. The more I chase, the more you faster escape. The further I get, you still stay away.

I've made a lot of wrong choices.

I cannot break out from my bubble

I cannot release myself from this psychological cage I've seemed to placed myself in. I fear any wrongdoings I may cause, or worry over any shame. I doubt my capability. I've shadowed myself below that of giants. I don't trust myself. I hesitate with every decision, not trusting myself. I only find solace and real freedom of expression in a few people. And thank god for them =).

I am on this emotional rollercoaster.

In short, yes, I emo frequently and at random moments. Beware.

I do not give myself enough credit? But there is no credit to give.

I fail. So much.

Flip the two-headed coin

It is hereby declared that if Soh Zhi Min gets into the top 5 of class this term, she will be slave to Low Jun Lyn and Kwan Hui Wen until the 16th of November. And they will be permitted to hit her like they initially planned to. But no shoe throwing ><.

*Terms and Conditions apply.

Won't happen anyway X) Seeing how lousy I did this term.