Faith

Haha, I normally publish my poems in my space. But....this one is aimed at more people than that specific one....so I'll post it here too^^

How much time have you thrown?
Have you wasted,have you spent?
Your creations grown,
Only to be broken in the end?

Have much effort have you put in?
All those sweat and tears,
Only to earn nothing,
Having to live in your own fears?

How much pain did you have to hide?
To keep us strong, to keep that smile?
But your heart it bleeds inside,
Slowly breaking down all this while?

Did you give your all?
Asking for perfection,
To be surrounded by walls,
Facing bitter rejection?

Did you put in your everything?
For the sake of moulding and raising,
Care misunderstood for hating,
As if to you all arrows are pointing?

Reaching the top after the harsh climb,
Just about to breathe in the fresh air,
Then you are dragged down, silenced,
As if you were never there?

Are you tired of the journey?
Is it all in vain?
Are you feeling weary?
Are you sick of the pain?

If so, call out.
Seek me.
Shout out.
Summon me.

I will be your entertainer,
Making you, even if short-lived, happy,
I will be your listener,
Hearing all your stories.

I will be your pillar,
To lean on when you need a break,
I will be your strength,
To push you on when no more you can take.

I will be your compass,
Guiding you through the mist,
I will be your shield,
Protecting you from those with only deceit.

One more of my errands,
This one the most sublime,
I AM your friend,
Accompanying you till the end of time.

=)

The only thing is,
For you to,
Trust me.

"For you, a thousand times over"

-Zhi Min-

See through my Poker Face

Ying Ying tagged me like centuries ago. And I'm finally doing this tag. Whee!

DIRECTIONS : Once you've been tagged, you have to list down 16 random things, habits or goals about you. Lastly, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names, and why you chose them.


Awh! 16! I don't know whether I can think of that many.==

1. I despise my little brother!! Oh, to not cause confusion, I meant the youngest little brother as I have two younger brothers. (though I don't think you all know that right?) HE simply drives me up the wall. Taking my stuff away, locking me out of MY room, irritating me with that loud voice, being a tattle-tale and......just being irritating to put it simply!! Argh! I feel like strangling him countless times..Huh...And he just tested my patience. Usually my

2. I have an elephant collection. Ah, I think you would only know this if you visit my room. And so now, only my family, Seng Yew and probably Hui Wen know as those 2 frequent my house as of the late. By elephant collection, I mean like elephant plushies and other adorable elephant merchandise. Yeah, Note: Adorable.

3. I am a meatarian. Not to say I don't take vegetables fully. I enjoy mushrooms^^. And I get forced to eat brocolli.==

4. The manga overrule the novels! Yeah, I have more manga in my bookshelf than my novels. But then, the manga I buy isn't original but "conterfeit" so one manga is definitely more cheaper than a novel. Way cheaper. And I love my bookshelf!<3 Ahh...Wen and Seng Yew would know why.

5. I wish I had an authentic Japanese katana and maybe a revolvertoo^^. No, I am not a saddist. I want to put these in my room then I can pose with it and use it to scare unsuspecting victims^^. This craving is actually pretty recent and I dunno the reason behind this.

6. My English isn't that good. T.T Ok, this will earn me a lot of flammin from people. I mean my vocab isn't that good, which is true. Even if I have any new words, I just can't bring them to mine and summon them out during essay-writing. I need to find a way to get my vocab improved. =S

7. I express myself through writing. This is obvious isn't it? since I really pour everything out through my words, from the happenings of the day to pure insults. =/ Though it's not like I can't talk, Wen can actually get annoyed by me ^^" and Lyn has been a victim of my many rants.

8. I am driven by passion, not responsibility! Is this a blessing, or a curse? One of my flaws. Aiks. What does it mean? By the way, this phrase is my current MSN personal message. Anyway, it means that I don't do something because I fell burdened by the weight of the responsibility given but because I have the passion to do it myself. Now isn't that better, I do things because I want and have the heart to, (things that I REALLY am into normally get done no matter what==)not reluctantly because of the task thrust at me.

9.I randomly stare off into space a lot. What to do? I am a day dreamer. Once I lose focus on someting, it's off to the land of my imagination. I think of a lot things lo. Predicting what goes on next in my life(though it is highly unaccurate) and making up stories. Honestly, I love my mind more than the real world ^^.

10. Paranoid is me. Uh huh, like what worm always says, I think too much and worry myself too much. I keep having my own preassumptions on things and think about people's impression on me. (all negative though). Yeap, I am absolutely self-conscious and only think of the worse to come.

11. I actually look forward to tuition sometimes. Not because I want to learn! It's because of the people. =D I can catch up with Wen on everyday happenings(+more arguing and making each other gek) and Seng Yew entertains as always. But it was not as hyped up as it used to be. =(

12. I am still finding my place of belonging. This is referring to high school. Ishh...My classes seem to be where I feel most at home==

13. I used to learn the piano. Haha, at that time, I really hated practicing. Thus, in the end, finally, I gave up on it. == And maybe my appreciation for music has bloomed late, for I only truly enjoyed quite late in my childhood. In primary school, I also had to learn the violin. Still have it with me =).

14. I have this phobia of butteflies and moths. It must be something to do with those big balck wings. Anyway, they just scare me argh.

15. I will pursue a career in writing? I'm not so sure about this. Maybe. Heck, I can't even win an essay competitions yet. And yet, I aspire to be an author. Haha. This reminds me of a conversation between myself and Hui Wen on what we'll be like in the future.^^

16. I hate my low self-esteem. I'm suspecting whether I have split personalites. I can be like so NOT full of hope + futility. Then, I can be ever so obnoxious. Depends on my mood at the moment ba , though I have a feeling the arrogance displays myself more.

o.0 I actually thought of 16 pieces of crap to write! Hahahaha!!

I tag: noone. Lazy la.

Ah..my space needs updating. Perlu cari inspirasi dulu.

Trapped in a glass bubble

Being sick ain't fun.

Especially when you stupidly stay back after school with a fever that's slowly draining your energy away.....

And then you come home and the fever goes up to a critical condition.

At least, I'm fine now :P

Ugh..

Thinking about eating makes me feel sick-ER

Eating makes me want to throw up.

@.@

Exams! Argh~

And now someone thinks I live in the school ==

Tune on the humility

Ooh~ I AM cocky. Time to water down the ego.

I should not feel so sore about the essay. Because:

No matter what. It's still last minute work. And due to that, it probably wasn't that good after all.

I have very limited vocabulary. Shame on me. =(

It was done in a rush, lacking any depth. Maybe my last minute work is not so good after all =S.

It (the essay) seems pretty shallow now.

It seems cliched.

Not descriptive enough.

Strayed from the title I think.

It doesn't suit what the judges wanted? Maybe I should have just wrote down my thoughts==.

Lol, if I think about my essay now, it seems like I wrote it years ago. But nah, I still think it has its worth. The essay I wrote last year would have already been so childish to me this time a year ago. Maybe I have improved. =D Ok, cockiness arising again.

Why the sudden epiphany?

It's because I just read one of the finalists' essay and mine pales in comparison to hers. =S I do have a lot to work on. Starting with my dreadful vocabulary, I need more descriptive words!

Well, there's still 2 more years to try. I think. Open to ages 14 -19 right?==

One thing though,

I feel so sorry for Wen. All that fantisizing, and imagining will really remain as imagination. I might not have been so serious on the 2 of us roaming Dublin together. But now, I really NEED to boost myself up.( Have I said this before some time ago?== Deja Vu)

Now, I really want you to go to Dublin. Why?

I want us to have fun together. Duh.

After all you've been true, I want you to be genuinely happy again for once.

Bonding. =D

From what I saw in Kenny Sia's blog=P, Dublin is SPECTACULAR! Beautiful scenery and friendly people.

And now, we both have to wait at least a year. Or never. Who knows what will happen in the next few months.

I'm so sorry. I promised you. I broke it. Failing you is actually the BIGGEST reason why I'm so sore.

I know it's not a big deal. Our friendship definitely won't crash because of something so trivial.==

We can still hang in my place right? ;)

Though PLEASE remind me next time to stop procrastinating and do it seriously. Do it to WIN. PRODUCE something that will WIN. All eyes on the prize.

P.S Sighs. We only feel the loss of something when it is truly gone. =( Once again, sorry.

Another bubble burst

The winner for the Dublin Impac Essay Contest got announced already...

Hui Wen will be disappointed =/.

Though I don't see any difference between me writing an essay slowly before the deadline,and rushing it at the last minute since they'll both be as good =P

Ah so sad. Dublin ah Dublin T_T

At least I did all the imagining~ haha! I wanted so much to go to the land of leprechauns, shamrocks and beer.==

Oh oh!

ZM: Pei She, have you heard of Lake View Club?
Pei: Hah?
Zm: Lake View Club
Pei: Huh?
Zm:== Lake View Club...
Pei: YESS...That's where my dad's restaurant is...
Zm; o.0 The guides are going there for hi-tea on the 12th of July
Pei: And THAT's my dad's hi-tea....

== what a coincidence actually haha.

Shine us from behind the shadows

Today is the official day nia~

So, wishing all teachers:

HAPPY TEACHER"S DAY!!!

=)

Stay happy and healthy, don't let our antics bring you done. =P

I owe 2 of my form 3 teachers their presents. I promised myself to make something for them the night before our school's teacher's day. Then,

I fell asleep.==

Ah well, you don't need Teacher's Day to show your appreciation to them. ;) I mean, I can still give it to them next Monday==

Recently Random

Why's everyone talking about the "war"? @.@ It's over already. This little grunt will stay away as not to get hurt in the gunfire. On the other hand, might as well start to strategize for next year ^^". *wink wink*

Another thing, I noticed that most of the fellow kuning marchers kept apologizing in their blogs, except me. I feel bad now =S. But, no point dwelling on the past, no? Though I can't stop looking back myself too ==

Student's Choice Awards! I can't vote== bah...Who will get in next year? Hmm~~

Homework piling up =(

Teacher's day approaching~ Video camera permission not granted== o.0!! the heart!! not done!

High gei in tuition~ talked crap as wen's form of entertainment^^" the usual

==" I have a half-finished birthday present to complete~ OH! I did not wish the birthday girl here tim...And it's now like 3 days late..so won't wish already lah== Just wait for the prezzie XD

Yellow Marches On

Eek..I know this post is a day late(and its about to be two days too =/)

Sports Day was held yesterday.

Eh Hehe...Le Yi and Lyn were supposedly conned by me to come stay overnight in school. We though that we could sleep in the lodge. But.... in the end, they slept outside the BSMM room and me in the prefect room. Both places were invaded by mosquitoes anyway =.=. Before that, they kept complaining to me " If I were at home now, I would have slept already!><" " You wasted 2 hours of my sleeping time!" Geez...It's not like I wasn't staying awake with you all. And, it's not like we aren't used to staying up late~ We were all still pretty energetice the next day, no? ^^ Cheering our runners on~ So woke up at about 3 and changed into black shirt~ Went to our gathering place-the road besides prefect room. Soon, more and more marchers arrived and we got dressed. Put on our fire "armguards"and "shinguards". Then, we got our hair done. Guys spiked their with fire highlights. Girls too, minus the spiking la. Add some glitter and we're done. Next on, we got our fire"tube", skirt and a big cardboard flame attached to our backs. Our hair highlihghts were actually buncho paint== mine has a streak in it =D And our nails were painted black o.0.

We are fire dancers~ =D No, human torches.

We had to take off our glasses! I feel so blind without them =/.

Then gathered at our spot before we start the march pass. We wanted to revise formation but no time ( and place). So we just marched with slight revision and discussion and recalling. Everything went quite smoothly till the salute. !!! Those in front couldn't hear the command to stop the salute...So one half went back to normal march, the rest continued the salute. And then our formation. I was a drummer so I didn't really know it went wrong till later when we dismissed. Cuz from what I could see it was ok. Only later did I know the whole thing got screwed up=(. What to do? What's done is done. Removed our gear,except my mask=D and headed back down to the padang. We still gotta cheer for our runners. They're seriously our only hope. Cheered, screamed and sang our hearts out!

Therewas the incident with Le Yi's phone~ All of us got our stuff back at the Kuning place when we took off our gear. My phone strangely, was found on the FLOOR. And LY's one still missing. == So we tried looking for it, Le Yi got emo, Le Yi went "missing", we looked for her. Fast forward to the kuning deco spot again. We had to put our armguard back on. And Le Yi appeared there. And turns out, Rou Ann had it==. What a load of @.@.

Ending ceremony! Marchers all gathered at the front. The thing about Sports Events, everyone was so semangat-ed, all houses cheered the other houses on. Perkhemahan~we got 2nd. o.0 Ungu got first and Hijau 3rd. Merah and Biru got disqualified. An absoulute pity. The merah tent was so COOL. REALLY NICE LA. They even had a real puppet inside! All because the top exceeded the sports center roof by like 4 cm? And biru had the same fate...that wolf is so yeng and very life-like =D. Merah was so down when they found out, they even cried =(. But like what other bloggers might have mentioned, we all know they are the true winners=).And that's what matters. Perbarisan..oh god, I can't believe we still got 4th , since the formation was screwed and we even got marks minus-ed cuz our formation was too long o.0. So, alright la.

After the ceremony, we performed the formation to Kimberly and the Form 5 seniors. Kim actually ran away before we finished. But we all know why la =S. But like Ling Ming said, why didn't we do this well earlier?==

Overall, Kuning got 2nd!! Never mind, next year will be our year!!Quite literally too. We'll get the crown back!

Even though we lost the gold, we gained a lot more. Us Form 4 marchers found our kuning semangat =D, swearing to come back next year to make up. We found our bond with kuning, and each other =D. We learned to go all out for our rumah, and LIKE it!! =D we formed comradeship. We learnt from our mistakes. We will aim higher. We will not be complacent anymore. We will not be sore losers ;). We all know in a competition there will always be losers. But like a quote I read from a blog, where would the winner be if there weren't losers? So, Kuning people, look ahead now and don't dwell on the by-gones! We will sore higher next year!

<3 style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">KUNING!!!FIRE!!!!
KUNING!!!FIRE!!!!
KUNING!!!AAAAH!!! FIRE!!!

Thank you all marchers, deco people, Form 5 seniors and teachers. We all rule!

I wish I could go through Sports Day again. Just the whole process was so...enlightening~ I can't wait for next year ^^

Ignite!

Sports Day is less than 24 hours away!!

=D gonna go back to school later and stay there for the night~

^^

Go KUNING! Yellow Fire!

Undying Flame!!

If life had a reset button....

Don't tell Juosie this but....

I had fun in camp! =D

Hahahax...^^"

Ok la, the truth is, I emo-ed during camp, quite a lot. But that isn't so unexpected now is that?

-I still had fun

-I suck at climbing==. Need to go get membership at Camp 5 now.

-I finally got into the water again after so long. =P rafting was awesome!

-I tried doing a some pose while at the flying fox.

- I fell bungee jumped 2 times and still failed to reach the platform =.= more so, the bell.

-We played the tempo game in the bus and got very high =D. Loved this!

-Bonded with seniors and juniors

-I felt like high-ing during malam....but no one else seemed like they did==

-Camwhoring!

-Charades! Argh..Michael Jackson==

-the specs incident! that scene with hong jin and juosie..classic! so touching~

-lalala~

Now we dwell into the deeper side of things

-I screwed up. A LOT ( suckish luck =( )

-I missed some people too. TT_TT

-I felt lonely =S

-I had a lot of pressure on me because I was afraid of screwing up(so what? I still did in the end==)

-I was worried about what people were saying about me.

-Are those bonds true?

- Our batch is still split up as ever. Rojak gang. haha haiz...our motto: syok sendiri ^^

-I think too much. As you can see.

- Reading jmin's blog on Monday made me really really REALLY emo== though it was mostly just me being paranoid again. SIGHS~Jumping to conclusions ah, zhi min, tsk tsk tsk...

Oh well, you don't have to care what I think ^^". The camp was fun! It was different. It was FUN!. It needs to be wilder!

OK, worm and Le Yi aren't going too.

=( =( =( =( =( =( =(=(=(=(=(=(=(

TT_TT

This sucks..><